I haven't been to the gym and I feel terrible

For the last 18 months, I have been going to Planet Fitness. I started in Saginaw and now I'm up in Mount Pleasant. I started off really well; getting up to 40 minutes on the stationery bike, doing weights. And I lost 2 inches off my waist and lost about 20 pounds. Then I started playing pick up basketball in the morning and I felt awesome. Although I did hurt my foot pretty seiously once.

But things kept coming up; excuses on excuses. I would wake up late or a phone call was scheduled for the morning. The last month, I have only gone three times to the gym and I don't know why. I had a great goal of burning 450 calories in 40 minutes on the bike by June 1 and I was 15 calories short the last week of May. 

I don't think it would be too terrible if I wasn't eating horribly. Like earlier this week. I went to a pizza buffet for lunch and then I bought pizza for the kids for dinner. I mean, I KNOW that was the worst decision I could make, but I did it anyway. I almost feel like I'm addicted to food and I can't break it. 

Among the many things that I plan on being vulnerable about on this path of sharing my story, my weight is one of them. And one of the things I'm very embarrased about. I have 4 children and I want to be around for them for many more years. Perhaps building consistency in sharing content will help me be commited to the gym and eating better too. Only time will tell.